Most of us have done it, riding the wonderful city transit. We all know it comes with a variety of smells, people, liquids, garbage, and bacteria…… But wait! There’s more! What are bus etiquettes? I mean this isn’t a formal dinner its transit right? Take a second to think about an unpleasant time you spent on the bus due to someone else’s lack of common sense, or manners.
This is survival of the fittest, man eat man, elderly shove elderly and it’s no joke. Allow me to show you better ways to enjoy a bus ride. If you are an arrogant person allow me to change your ways.
1. When entering a bus never sit right at the front, leave it for the old people.
2. Try to sit in the very back if you can, especially if it’s a long bus ride, people tend to crowd around the front while you have the advantage of an empty backseat.
3. It is crucial to always bring an IPod, you do not want to hear everyone’s conversations, yawns, coughs and screaming babies all at once.
4. Never ride the bus with a life altering hang over. (It won’t result in anything good)
5. Always plan your trip, never assume the bus is going where you want it to or the bus driver will guide you correctly. (The bus drivers do not care about you they are not your parents)
6. Try and get your own newspaper, generally most people do the crosswords and rip out the horoscope page.
7. If someone is talking to themselves, do not look at them or point and laugh. Simply ignore them because honestly you have no idea what they could be on.
8. Homeless people tend to sleep on the bus, don’t bother waking them up it could lead to altercations.
9. If you need to share a seat with someone do not hog space, share the space provided and stay out of each other’s way.
10. If someone opens a window on the bus in December at 7AM and its blowing directly in your face do not be scared to politely ask the Eskimo if he or she could close the D@$% window!
11. Do not! I repeat do not ever eat anything you find on the bus. Need I say more?
12. Do not piss the bus driver off in any way shape or form, be polite and use the manners momma taught you.
13. If someone asks to hold your expensive phone or iPod please don’t be so naive. You deserve to have your things stolen if you are handing it over.
14. Always be at the bus stop at least 5 minutes early. (Don’t cuss the bus driver out for being late or early)
15. Always help older people out or disabled people it’s just the right thing to do!
16. Hold the door when exiting the bus. Don’t let it shut in other people’s faces. (It won’t kill you to hold a door I promise)
17. If someone is really really digging in their nose for some form of gold, do not say anything just try and ignore it. (Though it is kind of like a bad car crash, you know you shouldn’t stare but you do anyway)
18. Always carry hand sanitizer and avoid touching your face (For reasons mentioned above and the one below).
19. If someone is coughing or sneezing on you tell them to cover their mouths and draw attention to it for learning purposes
20. You can’t help every non English speaking person with directions, don’t hold yourself up making yourself late for work, it’s not your job.
21. Use the washroom before getting on the bus.
22. Don’t take your smelly shoes off after a long day.
23. Bus drivers do not have First aid, CPR or AED training, in fact I found out a few of them have no idea where the First aid kit is located.
24. When push comes to shove, correct people and tell them to get their hands off of you and that there is no rush. You don’t need to shove people to get to point B.
25. Do not cover yourself with body sprays while on the bus, it’s ignorant and not everyone enjoys your smell.
26. If you are in a hostage situation do not try to save the day, sit down and shut up.
27. If you are using only pennies to pay a $3.00 fair everyone will hate you so enjoy the dirty looks.
28. It’s not funny to push the bus stop button for no reason, it’s silent and awkward when people are looking at each other and the bus driver turns around and tries to figure out who did it. (Also keep your kids away from the pretty buttons and fun cords)
29. Never blast your music, trust me…. its not as wonderful to others as you think.
Always assume you are being watched. (You most likely are)