I ran across a rather disturbing video on Youtube on “how to beat your wife in Islam.”
The shocking video, which I should mention is “main stream” in many orthodox Muslim countries – first appeared on mimritv.org in 2007 and has since been shared on Youtube and other venues…
It features some brothers discussing the issue of beating their wives on live TV before a conservative Muslim audience.
It is designed as a kind of “open forum discussion among men in Islam on how to deal with your “unruly wife or wives” – which ever the case may be.
One brother suggests by way of an example “that you shouldn’t beat her in the face. He went on to say that “Beating her in the face is forbidden even when it comes to animals”, he said.
In America, we showed the video to some women who were in now way agreeable to this idea that “light beatings” is the way to go in certain cases.
It reflects in their words, male dominance that is not consistent with teaching in the Quran.
What is interesting is how the brothers were openly discussing the issue – as a way to help Muslim men dealing with this particular issue of an unruly or disobedient wife.
One woman in Charlotte, N.C. said “Oh hell no. I wouldn’t allow myself to be beat by any man.”
Another woman Mrs. M. Clark also of Charlotte, N.C. said “I would like to see my husband try it. I will divorce him so quick as to make his head spin.”
However it should be noted that in certain Muslim countries in the middle east wife beating is an acceptable practice. Especially in those countries where Sharia law are instituted which is the majority of so called “Muslim countries” in the world today. Chief among them Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, Afghanistan, Iraq and Iran.
Wife beating is also endorsed in some Hadith and Sunna falsely attributed to the prophet Muhammad against his will by scholars who never knew him.
Here are a few examples:
“The only way to beat a wife or child, is to do so in a way that does not risk physical harm to the person and it should only be done after the committing of something serious such as flagrant disobedience (disobedience only to that which is halal – permissible according to Islam
T. Al-Qurtubi, Vol. 15, p. 212
During the ailment of Job, his wife used to beg for him and Satan told her a word of disbelief to say and she told her husband (Job), so he became angry with her and took an oath to strike her one hundred lashes. So Allah ordered Job to fulfil his oath by striking her with the bundle of thin grass.
Prophet Ayûb (Job) was informed how to beat his wife in this particular instance, in a way such that he would not harm her, yet still fulfill his misguided oath:
The Noble Qur’an – Sâd 38:44
[To Job]: And take in your hand a bundle of thin grass and strike therewith (your wife),…
The Noble Qur’an – Al-Baqarah 2:224
And make not Allâh’s (Name) an excuse in your oaths against your doing good and acting piously, and making peace among mankind. And Allâh is All-Hearer, All-Knower (i.e. do not swear much and if you have sworn against doing something good then give an expiation for the oath and do good).
The Prophets are an example to mankind. From the above ayat and other hadith, we take the knowledge that the verse, “beat your wives” in The Quran refers to strikes with something relatively soft such as a bundle of thin grass or at worst a thin, flimsy stick. The beating is not to be done with severity. Please note that judgement can be impaired while a man is angry, and so it is recommended that he does not do it while angry. It is likewise haram (prohibited) for a woman to abuse her husband or children.
Hadith – Al-Tirmidhi #276, Narrated Amr ibn al-Ahwas al-Jushami
“Amr heard the Prophet (peace be upon him) say in his farewell address on the eve of his Last Pilgrimage, after he had glorified and praised Allah, he cautioned his followers: ‘Listen! Treat women kindly; they are like prisoners in your hands. Beyond this you do not owe anything from them. Should they be guilty of flagrant misbehavior, you may remove them from your beds, and beat them but do not inflict upon them any severe punishment. Then if they obey you, do not have recourse to anything else against them. Listen! You have your rights upon your wives and they have their rights upon you. Your right is that they shall not allow anyone you dislike, to trample your bed and do not permit those whom you dislike to enter your home. Their right is that you should treat them well in the matter of food and clothing.”
Unlike some non-Islamic societies, Islam does not consider it abuse to gently strike someone in response to flagrant disobedience to clear instructions.
At most, such “gentle beatings” may cause embarrassment and bring clarity as to the seriousness, in hopes to repair and revitalize the relationship and guide the person back to Islam.
“Although a wife or child can both be beaten (always lightly as mentioned throughout this article), this does not in any way imply that wives are to be treated as children, as the situations and conditions are entirely different.”
The Prophet said,
“To feed her when you eat, cloth her when you buy clothes for yourself, refrain from striking her face or cursing her, and to not abandon her, except in the house.”
Allah’s statement,
“beat them”
means, if advice and ignoring her in the bed do not produce the desired results, you are allowed to discipline the wife, without severe beating. Muslim recorded that Jabir said that during the Farewell Hajj, the Prophet said:
“Fear Allah regarding women, for they are your assistants. You have the right on them that they do not allow any person whom you dislike to step on your mat. However, if they do that, you are allowed to discipline them lightly. They have a right on you that you provide them with their provision and clothes, in a reasonable manner.”
Ibn ‘Abbas and several others said that the Ayah refers to a beating that is not violent. Al-Hasan Al-Basri said that it means, “a beating that is not severe.”
I suppose women can consider themselves lucky they don’t live in a Muslim country, where men consider it their “right privilege as husbands and religious obligation to beat their wives – arbitrarily.