This memo fell into my hands.
To: The Honorable Robert Gates, Secretary of Defense
From: Captain Horatio Hornblower, XII, USN Ret.
Re: African Weapon Utilization, Special Psychological Warfare Operations (PsyOps)
Dear Secretary Gates:
I. Background
Unofficial source (i.e., ESPN) has demonstrated the potent effects of a hitherto unknown device, the vuvuzela. It is a plastic device, allegedly musical employed by South African soccer fans
(in local parlance, they are called "football"). Method of operation is to quote Lauren Bacall
in To Have and Have Not, "…just put your lips together and blow."
As demonstrated in the 2010 FIFA World Cup for soccer (a/k/a football), said device produces
a deafening, irritating and disconcerting noise. The world news media reported that some
players could not hear each other, their coaches or the refererees.
II. Action Proposal
I propose that the United States Department of Defense (DOD) initiate a program of utilization of
the vuvuzela as a weapon of psychological warfare in the war on terror, particularly in AfPak
operations against the Afghan and Pakistani Taliban as well as Al Qaeda elements.
As you no doubt know, the Afghan and Pakistani Taliban suppressed music in their areas of control
and influence. This war on music attacked both Western and local forms of music. Since US and
Allied forces liberated Afghanistan from Taliban and Al Qaeda control music has returned to Afghanistan.
PsyOps can use music against the Taliban in AfPak theater in two modalities 1) to disconcert the enemy and preventing them from taking effective action against Allied operations. 2) To annoy the Taliban by letting them hear music. Of course, many Allied personnel would question whether the
vuvuzela is producing music or just noise.
III Action Considerations
Defensive measures for our own personnel will be needed on the model of Atomic, Chemical and Biological Warfare (ACBW) operations. All personnel will need to be trained to withstand at least some minutes of unprotected vuvuzela exposure.
An American company has imported several thousand vuvuzelas according to a recent Wall Street
Journal story and retailing for US$8 each.
As this is a simple product, we could mass produce the Combat Vuvuzela, Portable. CV-P Mark I is my proposed DOD procurement and logistics designation. Factories could easily be located in the districts of influential members of Congress.
IV Conclusion
The Combat Vuvuzela, Portable could bring the war effectively to the Taliban enemy in the AfPak theater. Other possible uses could be riot control and replacing the bands at Army or Navy games in their conferences.
-30-
To belabor the obvious, this is a work of fiction.
About the author: Richard Cooper is an international trade executive with a manufacturing firm on Long Island, New York, USA. He is active in the Libertarian Party www.lp.org on eminent domain and other issues. He was chair of the Libertarian Party of New York http://ny.lp.org.
groundreport.com/articles.php?id=2834668
America Fanged: The Vampire In Contemporary American Society http://
Leave Your Comments