Have you ever watched football and eaten so many Buffalo wings that you feel like you need a wheelbarrow for the 4 feet between your couch and your bedroom? I did today (idk, my bff Place-that-Delivers?) and as such am not going to sleep anytime soon and am probably not doing any amount of reading […]

Have you ever seen an umpire call a third strike and then say to the batter, "I know you’re just going to strike out again and pull the same crap that you just pulled…but I feel a certain way about you that leads me to believe you’ll do something different if I give you another […]

<div align="left">It’s almost like telling somebody they have severe crotch-rot; whoever you’re telling will most likely be in denial, it’s something you would never want to say to another person, and it’s definitely something they won’t want to hear. But at some point, people have to come to grips with ugly truths. How do you […]

I will never, ever in a million years, or however long it takes for A Tribe Called Quest to release a reunion LP (not go on tour together, but put out a real album for goodness sakes), understand how some guys consider a certain girl "off limits" for reasons other than being family. Ever meet a group […]

Tired of steady income? Want to relive the days when you were smoking pot in dorm rooms and promised yourself you’d never work for "the Man" as old Weezer songs played in the background, while your roommate was too busy having sex with his girlfriend in the next room to have similar epiphanies? Feel the […]

Dear St. Valentine: Who you are is not really clear to many historians but you stand for love, which is commendable. However, every year you make more people feel terrible about life than Hannity & Colmes, runway models, and the New York Knicks combined, which is a lot of damn people. Because of you, I […]