Book Extract: The Little Manual of Happiness
ISBN: 9788178061375
Author: Vikas Malkani
Publisher: Unicorn Books (www.pustakmahal.com)
Avoid People and Situations that Upset You
Avoid things, people, situations and experiences you are averse to. Some might call this cowardly; I call it smart. The world is brimming with things, people and experiences. We will never experience all of them. So why not associate with the ones that naturally please you?
In some situations, it becomes difficult to reach a person (Mr C) you would like to, without passing through others such as Mr A and Mr B. In those cases, keep your eye on Mr C. Keep reminding yourself why you are messing with Mr A and Mr B and that soon you will be at Mr C, and that Mr C will be Some examples of things to avoid—parties you do not want to go to, people you do not want to see, television specials you do not want to watch (but think you should), movies everybody else has seen that hold no appeal for you, and so on.
This idea goes contrary to the claim that you grow through confrontation. Yes, this is true. Tribulation and confrontation are great teachers. There is, however, quite enough tribulation presented to you naturally. You do not have to seek it, it will seek you. That is the time to practise acceptance, patience and forbearance. If you can avoid the unpleasantness in the first place, by all means do so. Of course, if you live in the freedom of your own thoughts and desires, you must also give the same freedom to others.
Learn to accept the behaviour of others even if it does not fit the pattern of your opinions. Whenever you find yourself disapproving of another, examine your opinions. Explore your list of ‘shoulds’ and ‘should nots’. See your opinion as merely opinion, not truth, and therefore not worth getting upset about. Others’ opinions of you and your opinions of others are the cause of a great deal of unnecessary negative thinking. (I maintain that all negative thinking is unnecessary, but the guilt, fear and resentment generated by opinions are particularly unnecessary.)
A happy person is one who tries to get rid of all negativities. He or she will go the extra mile just to avoid the downbeat and the depressing. Accept the fact that we are all different. We come from different backgrounds; our families, our education, our upbringing all stem from diverse areas and thoughts. Be tolerant of these inherent differences. Learn to relish the differences between people.