Have you ever seen an umpire call a third strike and then say to the batter, "I know you’re just going to strike out again and pull the same crap that you just pulled…but I feel a certain way about you that leads me to believe you’ll do something different if I give you another at-bat?" No. Because baseball is ****ing boring. And why are there no lady umpires? I wouldn’t mind bumping chests with one over a disputed call. But I bet you she would be one of those militant-lesbian types who works for a 976 number and constantly says, "I can’t climax unless I’m in extreme pain." But I digress.
Why do we give bad people so many second chances? For most people it takes a long time to sit up and say, "This person is not going to change, and to think that I can change her/him is stupid." But then it always turns into, "Wow I think she’s wearing a thong. Maybe she is capable of some kind of paradigm shift after which we can be happy together." If it walks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and acts like a duck, it probably won’t stop ****ing every other duck it sees and progress emotionally to the point where it would like to sort of settle down. At least not for a while.
Do you know how much other s*** is going on in the world? In your life, too? Most people don’t deserve a lot of second chances. Just move on. Your time on Earth is too short to pine for something that isn’t going to happen, and for somebody you think you can save/change. There are 6 billion people in the world; and did you know that if you picked 6 people at random, 2 of them would probably be Chinese? This bodes well for fans of celebrated websites like Mr. Chew’s Beaver. Don’t be sad, though. What do you do when you step in dog s***? You clean it off or leave it in front of your friend’s apartment, or whatever, and then you move on, you keep going. Think of everytime you meet someone that you like but need to change like getting a really crappy drink from the bar; it might have cost you something, and you might be disappointed, but you get a chance to go on and try something else. "But this person is different." No, they’re not. Them too. Brush them off and don’t look back. You know how many people get evicted from their houses because of that hoarding syndrome where you hang on to all kinds of meaningless, useless things, because they pose a fire hazard? I don’t either, but it’s a lot. Way more than the amount of people who actually saw the greatest TV show of all time (Arrested Development) when it was actually on the air. Let the crap go.
People don’t change; but there are a lot to choose from, so it all evens out in the end. Just keep looking for that special someone who will touch your genitals with a zest you have never known before. I know I am. Looking, not touching my genitals. Or yours. You get the point.