I woke up from a nap and realized that the jazz standard “Cry Me a River” could be rewritten with the name of a topical Ukrainian Republic. So I watched three versions of the song on YouTube — by Ella Fitzgerald, Barbra Streisand and Aerosmith — and got to work. “Cry Me a River” was written by Arthur Hamilton in 1953, the year before Nikita Khrushchev gave Crimea to the Ukraine (on February 19, 1954 — which is important to my version of the song). Sudak and Yalta are resorts on the Black Sea. And here are my lyrics, written from the point of view of the Ukraine:
You came to me in 1954,
Around Valentine’s Day.
I thought you loved me, but I guess I loved you more.
Visiting Sudak & Yalta,
I thought your feelings would not alta;
Now you say you’re rushin’
Off with someone new.
Well, you can Crimea river, Crimea river —
I cried a river over you.