Domestic violence shouldn’t happen to anyone. It does though and when it does, there is help available. Maybe you have been a victim of domestic violence. Maybe the violence occurred just once. Maybe you live, or work, next to someone who is in a violent situation now. Whoever you are, there is help available.
Definition
Domestic violence is a behavior used by one party in a relationship to control the other party in the relationship. Partners may be married or unmarried, heterosexual, gay, lesbian, separated or dating.
Examples
- Name-calling
- Withholding money
- Keeping a partner from getting a job
- Keeping a partner from having contact with family or friends
- Sexual assault
- Intimidation
The violence may be criminal and includes physical assault, sexual assault and stalking. Emotional, psychological and financial abuse is not criminal, but they are forms of abuse and can easily lead to physical violence.
Myths
Domestic violence only happens to poor women.
Domestic violence occurs in all kinds of families. People from any class or culture can be victims, or perpetrators.
Some Women Deserve to be Hit
No one deserves to be the victim of violence. The only person responsible is the abuser. Physical violence, even between family members, is wrong and against the law
Stress Causes Domestic Violence
Stress — with or without co-occurring substance abuse, does not cause domestic violence. Abuse may occur when the abuser is stressed or abusing substances, but the substance use does not cause the abuse.
Domestic violence is rarely triggered by mental illness, but it is often used as an excuse by the abuser.
If It Were That Bad, She Would Leave
Many women have many reasons why they choose not to leave. Not leaving doesn’t mean the violence is ok. Leaving can often be more dangerous than staying. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she tries to leave.
Who Are the Abusers
There is no “typical” abuser so abusers are not easy to spot. They can appear loving in public and turn abusive behind closed doors. Often they try to hide the abuse by causing injuries which can be hidden.
Abuse is an intentional act that a person in a relationship uses in an effort to control the other person. Abusers often have a low self-image and they do not take responsibility for what they do, often even blaming the victim for causing the violence.
The Victims
- 1 in 4 women will experience domestic violence during her lifetime.
- Women experience more than 4 million physical assaults and rapes because of their partners, and men are victims of nearly 3 million physical assaults.
- Women are more likely to be killed by an intimate partner than men
- Women ages 20 to 24 are at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
- Every year, 1 in 3 women who is a victim of homicide is murdered by her current or former partner.
The Families
- Every year, more than 3 million children witness domestic violence in their homes.
- Children who live in homes where there is domestic violence also suffer abuse or neglect at high rates (30% to 60%).
- A 2005 Michigan study found that children exposed to domestic violence at home are more likely to have health problems, including becoming sick more often, having frequent headaches or stomachaches, and being more tired and lethargic.
- A 2003 study found that children are more likely to intervene when they witness severe violence against a parent – which can place a child at great risk for injury or even death.
The Circumstances
- Domestic violence is most likely to occur between 6 pm and 6 am.
- More than 60% of domestic violence incidents happen at home.
The Consequences
- According to the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development, domestic violence is the third leading cause of homelessness among families.
- In New York City, 25% of homeless heads of household became homeless due to domestic violence.
- Survivors of domestic violence face high rates of depression, sleep disturbances, anxiety, flashbacks, and other emotional distress.
- Domestic violence contributes to poor health for many survivors. For example, chronic conditions like heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders can become more serious due to domestic violence.
- Among women brought to emergency rooms due to domestic violence, most were socially isolated and had fewer social and financial resources than other women not injured because of domestic violence.
- Without help, girls who witness domestic violence are more vulnerable to abuse as teens and adults.
- Without help, boys who witness domestic violence are far more likely to become abusers of their partners and/or children as adults, thus continuing the cycle of violence in the next generation.
- Domestic violence costs more than $37 billion a year in law enforcement involvement, legal work, medical and mental health treatment, and lost productivity at companies.
#1 FACT:
Most domestic violence incidents are never reported.
Help change the facts. Speak up, speak out, and make a difference for victims of domestic violence.