There are many people in our society who live in a domestic violence situation every day of their life and they’re controlled by their abuser in everything they do. They’re controlled like a small child without a chance to make a decision for themselves; they become like puppets-on-a-string and dormant shells if they do not break free from their situation.
Domestic violence is an abusive pattern that evolves and progresses in a relationship between two people where one of them is determined to gain control and power over the other person. Domestic violence consists of emotional, sexual, physical, economic, and/or psychological actions or threats against another person. Domestic violence intimidates, humiliates, isolates, coerces, blames, scares, threatens, injures, wounds, prohibits contacts, terrorizes, manipulates or causes harm to another person.
Domestic violence robs a person of their self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, ability to think and to make sound decisions and it destroys their ability to communicate for fear it’ll not be satisfactory to their abuser and repercussions will follow. Domestic violence brings a person down to their lowest level in life to where they feel totally helpless and defenseless.
Domestic violence shows no pity for any one ethnic group because it affects men and women regardless of their race, creed; gay or straight; rich or poor; teen, adult, or elderly. The majority of its victims are women though; and in fact 1 out of 4 women are victimized at some point in their lives. Many elderly people suffer domestic violence because other people are controlling their actions and decisions.
The abuser is always one step ahead of their victims because they’re constantly planning ways to insert fear, power, bullying, and an ability to gain control over their victims. Abusers are cagy and wise in displaying certain forms of possessiveness, jealousy and control in the beginning without their victims noticing they’re being drawn into a controlling situation and they’re losing control of their life.
Have you ever watched as a victim is controlled by an emotional abuser? I have and it is terrible! Emotional abuse is screamers, door slammers, throws things and breaks valuable items to frighten their victims. Do you want to know why they do this, it’s to gain control of their victim and cause them to feel bad and that it’s their fault for their abusive actions?
Any person who permits another person to physically abuse them by slapping, punching, kicking, choking or shoving them is permitting a situation that may lead to a hospital visit. Never allow a person to start physical abuse or an abuser will continue it throughout a relationship.
Abusers will also place threats against another’s family members, children and pets to control their victim. Abusers will go to any length to keep a victim frightened and in fear by threats against other family members.
There are a lot of financial abusers in relationships, these are the people that want complete control of “all” the money coming into a household. Once they get control of a person’s money they withhold money for items the person or family urgently needs and it makes the person become weak, permissive and dependent upon the abuser. Don’t allow this to happen to you one time because if you do it will only get worse.
Sexual abuse is domestic violence too and this is the forcing of a person to have sex against their will. No-one is ever to be forced to have sex against their will!
Many times domestic violence originates from drugs and alcohol, money problems leading to financial disagreements and this will cause an abuse of one sort or another to a person.
Abuses among teenage relationships are more rampant than society would like to believe. There is plenty of young teen’s, male/female, in an abusive relationship and it goes unnoticed until a tragedy happens.
If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s important to talk with an individual you trust, i.e., clergy, a local help center or your professional doctor. Getting in touch with a local advocacy group for support, information, and advice on how to stay safe – Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
Barbara Kasey Smith wrote this article based on a report she read in webmd.com. Barbara’s New Book Titled “Jailbait,” ISB 9781329012301, Available lulu.com