Domestic violence in a relationship will go unknown for years because it’s kept a secret by the one who is being abused. Abused people will go to many lengths to keep their abuse hidden and to themselves because they’re unsure whether they want to “let go” of their abusive partner. They’ll lie about their black eyes, broken limbs, etc., because they cannot give up their abusive mate. They lose control of their decisions and they live under the control of their abuser, they don’t make any decision without approval from their abuser. They’re brain dead at this time in their relationship because of brain-washing.
Domestic abuse terminates a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence until they’re like a puppet-on-a-string without any authority or powers whatsoever to think and to perform without their abusers controlling orders. They become controlled and owned by their abuser. The abuser’s desire is to cause them to be dependent upon them and them only.
Many times the abuser will come on to their partner as being jealous and caring but it’s his/her scheme to get control of their actions. Abusers are cunning and creative in their methods of gaining control of their partner…so if you’re in a relationship and this is happening to you, back off and get away before it’s too late.
Domestic violence occurs in both opposite-sex and same-sex relationships and it can also occur with a person who is in an intimate relationship with someone; and it happens to people regardless of their age, race, religion, sexual orientation or gender. It happens in people with varied types of educational skills and with varied socioeconomic backgrounds. It is what it is “domestic violence” and it’s cruel, degrading, humiliating, embarrassing, living a secretive lie, painful and it destroys a person’s self-esteem and self-confidence, often leaving them helpless and afraid.
A definition for domestic violence is a pattern of abusive behavior in any relationship being used by one partner to gain or maintain power and control over another intimate partner. Listed below are various forms of abuse against a person:
1. Domestic physical abuse stems in many forms, i.e., slapping, shoving, hitting, pinching, grabbing, hair pulling and any other forms of physical abuse upon a partner.
2. Domestic emotional abuse arises in various ways, i.e., destroying a person’s self-esteem and self-worth that is abusive to their partner such as: name-calling, plotting against them, criticizing everything they do, making fun of them, working their children against them and lying accusations against them.
3. Domestic sexual abuse develops in several ways, i.e., trying to coerce or attempt sexual contact; marital rape; forcing them to have sex after a terrible abusive attack; sexual acts are committed in a sexually demeaning method; and conducting sexual attacks without consent.
4. Domestic economic abuse derives in different methods, i.e., withholding money for necessities; controlling family finances, and not permitting them access to money.
5. Domestic psychological abuse stems through various forms of causing fear of intimidation; physical harm to self, partner, children, friends or family members; and the destruction of property and pets and of keeping their partner from their family members, etc.
Domestic violence not only harms the individual who is being abused but it has a terrible psychological effect on children; and it’s my opinion that children who live with the abuse of a parent on a constant they’re in a pattern to do the same thing in their adulthood. It predisposes them to numerous social and physical problems, because they believe that violence is an everyday occurrence in families; therefore, setting them up to become as the world’s future abusers of violence upon partners.
People, who are living in a life of abuse, push your shoulders back and get out of the situation and take control of your reins in life. Don’t allow any person to control your life because life is precious and people are not free until they can live a life of freedom on their own. It’s important to always remember, being a prisoner is difficult but living in freedom with your own decisions is great.
Barbara Kasey Smith is the writer of this article based upon living experiences and happenings.