Here are some of my recent "postings" on Facebook:
My favorite men are left-wing bartenders.
Dew nourishes pity.
I wonder what pig milk tastes like.
James Brown was Soul Brother #1. I am Soul Cousin #973.
When in Rome, roam as the Romans roam.
Cowboys are basically armed shepherds.
Beware the Ideas of March.
I bought a dog, and now she owns me.
I am a prizefighter; I fight against prizes.
Life is God’s gimmick.
I am a Native Un-American.
Love pays the bills — love in the form of a Visa card.
I am muscle tone-deaf.
No painter has ever captured the beauty of peanut shells.