What to Do When You Are Feeling Left out in a Group?
Did you ever feel like you are always being left out in a group? You are always the awkward one walking behind if there is not enough space in a row for all, or your friends have made a plan for hanging out but you are the last one to know, or they are talking about an incident you have no idea about, or you are not present in the conversation though you are physically present there? It does not necessarily have to be a friend circle, this might happen in your family or workplace or anywhere else. These tormenting, demeaning circumstances are more common than it is thought to be.
Some of you unfortunately have faced or have been facing this situation for a long time now. You are dazzled to think why you are being treated like this though you love them a lot, you are fun loving, you are not a bad person and don’t wish anything bad for them either. In a condition like this there are certain things that you need to do and need to stop doing. Let us then put light on some effective-beneficiary things that might actually improve our hovering state by giving us a sense of relief along with our stature right back to us. Here they go:
Try to understand why you are being left out and why it is embarrassing you. Do not just assume by yourself that your friends are trying to avoid you or not liking you. This might be the case that they are presuming you are not interested much in the things they usually do. Also think about your take on this whole matter, if it is really necessary to be worried or if this is something that you can ignore. Try not to dig deep into a silly matter, it keeps the relationships healthy.
Do a little talking. If your disturbing feelings become certain that your friends in actuality do not treat you well, the best way is to talk to them about this. Open up to them, they are after all your friends or acquaintances (people around you, colleagues, fellows etc); they will understand when you show them what is bothering you. Do not complain in the first place, ask for reasons behind their actions, you might discover they did so keeping your welfare on their minds.
Make new friends. It is always exciting to meet new people and to get to know them. As you show interest in people, you may find people who totally get along with you, understand you; and you enjoy their company the most. Meanwhile, do not give up on your old friends. Friends are never worth losing, either them or you would be in need of each other anytime.
Be confident about yourself. You might come into the view that there is nothing wrong with you but your friends don’t find the zeal in your friendship. In this situation, you should never lose confidence in yourself; instead, build a stronger personality with more spirit. People are diverse and it is really okay if they do not find you interesting enough, some other people will discern you to be fascinating, grand and hearty. It is just like the subjects you read, you happen to love physics but biology is just boring to you for no apparent reason; it does not change the fact that biology is still a great subject.
Give your friends some space. If they do not like your company much, let them feel your absence. If you see that they start calling you or asking you why you are not there, if anything is wrong, why you are being absent in the get-togethers; you know that your presence is important to them and they miss you. If they do not do these, you need to know that it is time for you to move on; rejection is a part of life also. Do not impose yourself upon them as this would lower your self-esteem. It might be better for both of you to not be together.
Create a world of your own. It always helps if you have a world of your own interests to spend time with. If you are into researching, research a bit; if you like writing, write on something; do anything that engages your creative faculties. Thus you won’t need to depend on your friends to spend the time with or to feel good. Moreover, you will have something intriguing to start a conversation on or to talk about something which your friends might be curious about as well. Do not sit around lazy and feel miserable, be awesome instead who can do a lot, knows a lot and impresses people a lot.
Having said all these, the most important thing you have to do is to feel good (wonderful actually) about yourself. There is a quote by Japanese writer Haruki Murakami that says, “Nobody likes being alone that much. I don’t go out of my way to make friends, that’s all. It just leads to disappointment.” How true that saying is! So make a priority list where you will be the number one priority and everything else will come after that. Love your family, friends and acquaintances, love yourself too. Think positive and take constructive actions, this would be enough to give you an absolutely formative turn in your life under these circumstances.