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Forced marriage in Denmark

Per the first of January, there is a new law in Denmark. It regulates that those who are living together without being married, but have children together, or a registered contract like a marriage, or in other cases in which the local authorities after investigation decide there is a relationship equal to a marriage, are considered to be married. The implications are, that whenever someone needs financial aid, they can’t get this aid if their partner can provide for them with their income or savings. In all other cases, it has no consequences for your right to financial aid.

Now please imagine you are sharing a house with a friend. There is no sexual relationship, each one has their own sleeping room, their own living room. You each make your own meals, and each takes care of their own belongings and their own possessions and administration. So then, given your own situation, you cannot imagine it would ever be seen as a marriage. And indeed, at first it seems to be ok; in December 2013, my friend receives a letter from the local authorities, in which they simply ask him and me to sign whether we are living like husband and wife or not, without further questions. We sign ‘no’, and we send it in. But then they return the contract, asking if we are sure about this, and if we would please sign again for it. So we sign again: We do not have a marriage-like relationship. Next thing that happens is, they throw those contracts away – while their own policy states, that signatures of citizens should be taken as the truth – and consider us a married couple without any further communication! We simply don’t have a clue why. The only argumentation they use in their letter, is that we have been sharing the same address for such a long time. We have one week to react over the phone.

We both write letters in protest about the procedure and state that we want to be heard before they take a decision. We ask for the criteria they use. We get no answer as to the criteria. We do not get an invitation to be heard. Instead we get a one-sentence invitation that says ‘we are welcome to come to hear the reasons for their decision’. We write a letter in protest, now for the first time describing our relationship, all within the time we have to protest. Even though we don’t know their criteria for ‘marriage’, we’re sure that describing the situation must clear up things. We tell them, the consequence of their decision is, my friend will have to move out as soon as possible. We wait for a week, but they do not react. I phone, they say they stick to their decision. Again, I protest over the phone against never having received any criteria for what they consider ‘a marriage’; never having received any of their argumentation other than ‘you have been sharing the same address for such a long time’; never being heard, never being investigated, never being involved in any way. I try to explain how inhumane this treatment is, what it does to my health. They don’t care. Obviously their position gives them room to hit hard without any consequences. How can it be, there are no quality systems that prevent such things from happening?

We were already upset, but after this phone call we are very upset. To get the pressure of, we decide as follows: In the first year of this law, my friend can keep half of its allowance. It goes for all of those they consider married, and they call it a ‘transitory measure’. He refuses this money, and withdraws his request for aid. I agree totally. No system in the world is going to decide for me, whether I have a marriage without ever having talked to me! This is the only power we have left: Without a request for aid, at least there is no such decision.

I am not the only one whom they force into a marriage. Many people – and my guess is especially women – that live together with someone with social problems such as alcohol abuse, gambling andsoon, are now being forced into a marriage in which they not only live with the consequences of these problems in daily life, but are also financially responsible. And not only with their income, but even to almost the last penny of their personal savings! This law rigorously declares all savings shared, which is expropriation and against the Constitution.

A group on Facebook, with about 14.000 members, all hit by this ‘law’, brings tears to your eyes if you read all the stories. Problems in the relationship, suddenly not being able to pay their bills, having to move out, being activated in temporary jobs in return for the aid and now having to work a full-time job for half of the money? How can that be true? In the Danish system, financial aid is not free; people are being activated which means they have to accept any job in return for the aid. Companies who need temporary manpower, can ‘hire’ those that receive financial aid for some months… meaning they don’t have to pay them a penny. The only thing they have to do, is promise there is a chance to get a job at the company afterwards. Of course, this chance in reality is zero. That way, the system rules the market for temporary jobs, the companies profit, and those that want to survive outside the system of ‘financial aid’ cannot get any of those temporary jobs. Besides, the normal protection in case of working with dangerous materials is not given to those activated in such jobs! My friend once had to work with glass fiber, without any protection against getting the stuff into his lungs and without any suitable uniform. For months both of us have been itching, as it was virtually impossible to keep the stuff out of the house.

It is the most horrible sign of a society that no longer wants to take common responsibility for people. A system where laws including human rights violations can pass. Where laws are introduced without having prepared procedures, hitting people hard in several ways, from crises in relationships to mental health problems; and not being able to pay their bills. And a most terrible experience in this whole thing is the totally inhumane way citizens are being treated by those employed at the authorities in the position of ‘social advisor’…can you imagine? I cannot see any lawful procedure and any lawful decision; what I see is abuse of power and a horrible lack of a normal humane way to treat people from the side of those employees whose job it should be to protect the poor, the weak and the troubled. Instead, they play bookkeepers with no regard for the most important and private things in peoples life, taking decisions without any respect for their input.

Maybe you have your own opinion on such laws as this one, maybe you agree with it, maybe you even see justice in it. I don’t; it’s not that I cannot see the economic advantage someone has, when he shares a house with another; but then the law shouldn’t have made any distinction between ‘a relationship equal to a marriage’ and ‘otherwise’. Why not simply subtract part of the aid for having this advantage and that’s it? Yet the law did make this difference, and now that it did, I belong to the category ‘otherwise’, and many others do too.

What is happening in a country that has one of the worlds best social systems? It is a sign that the world is heading in the wrong direction, if we think we can save some money over the heads of the most vulnerable people by violating their rights. Instead of having the guts to change some other laws, for example those that provide companies a ‘legal’ way to avoid paying taxes in Denmark.

Instead, people are being forced into a marriage! Both forced marriage, totally dismissing peoples private agreements as to the conditions under which they share a house, as well as claiming a persons personal savings to be used to take care of the other, is clearly against human rights and against the Danish Constitution. This law should not exist. If we allow such laws to pass, in a country where after years of struggling for human rights and democracy just social systems have been established, it’s the end of humanity. How many soldiers and people died in wars, fought for our freedom? Aren’t the laws and systems in Europe a result of this struggle against facism? Are we now breaking it down again, how can we forget their sacrifice?

You could think, there are worse problems in the world. There aren’t. Violation of human rights IS the worst problem in the world, and from it, all other problems arise. Peace is impossible without justice; and justice starts with each and every one of us having an equal right to live a life without problems and an equal duty to not solve our own problems at the cost of others. There is one area where people share this principle, which is health care. But there it stops. It’s as if people can’t see that being unemployed is most often the result of an economy that simply does not have jobs for everyone. That having mental health care problems is most often the result of damage done by others. We are all dependent on each other. When will people finally see, this is not a matter of ideology but simply a matter of humanity?

Ginette Blansjaar:
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