Having a Child After 30

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to have a child in your thirties?  Would it be easier or harder?  Would you have enough energy?  Pennie Gregory was 32 years old when she had her son, and she is going to give us her perspective on the matter.

ANGEL: How did you feel when you found out you were pregnant?

PENNIE: Extremely shocked! After nearly 10 years with no pregnancies, it was surreal to me. I was elated once the shock wore off!

ANGEL: Do you have other children?  If so, what are their ages?

PENNIE: I have a daughter who will be 20 this year, and has been on her own since she was 18. God knew what he was doing when he gave me TWO children, but allowed me to raise them one at a time.

ANGEL:  What was the main difference between raising your daughter and your son?

PENNIE: There is a world of difference. You can’t even compare. I wasn’t ready for my daughter at all. I feel like I would have been much better equipped if she could have came along in my late twenties. She was very challenging, demanding, and difficult.  In my opinion, girls are much more difficult than boys. I’ve seen it with several friends as well as with my own situation. All my priorities are in the right place now, and my patience level is way higher. Plus, I have the experience of all that didn’t go as planned where she was concerned to fall back on, and handle situations differently. It’s an extremely important job, molding a human being into the adult they are to become.

ANGEL: Do you think you were better prepared to raise a child after 30?

PENNIE: You know, the timing couldn’t have been more perfect. My husband and I were still "honeymooning" after 10 years….upon the arrival of our son, we slipped into a different stage in our relationship, and I cannot imagine being as fulfilled if he’d been born even 2 years earlier. Plus, we were in a much better place financially. Able to give our son the things we couldn’t have given him if we’d gotten married and immediately gotten pregnant. Not even just the "wants" he has….but important needs…such as medical care. Even with insurance, the Emergency Room visits, medications, etc, can be enough to break the bank. A friend of mine has two children, and she’s commented to me that between co-pays and prescriptions, she’s spent more than $60 in a week, on more than one occasion. 

ANGEL: How much harder has it been on you physically with your son?

PENNIE: I would say that it really hasn’t been any harder physically. I mean, my weight is higher than it was when my daughter was young, so it’s not like I can get out there and chase him all over the yard all day, but it’s not a huge difference.

ANGEL: Would you recommend women wait until their thirties to have children?

PENNIE: Absolutely!  And I’d also recommend waiting a few years to make sure the marriage has a better chance of lasting. It’s always a more positive experience when a child can be raised by both his/her parents.

ANGEL: Do you think being more financially sound and being able to provide more after thirty is a good reason to wait until then to have children?

PENNIE: Absolutely. It’s hard enough managing to make ends meet on low salaries people usually have in the early adult years, when so many choose to get married. Why not tackle each phase of life slowly and deliberately, so you can make the most out of them!

ANGEL: Is there anything else you want to add?

PENNIE: While I love my daughter and wouldn’t trade her for a million bucks or anything else in the world, it is definitely true, that I wasn’t mature enough when I had her. My priorities weren’t in the right order, my finances definitely weren’t, and maybe I’d have been more knowledgeable about how to deal with the challenging issues we faced in raising her. Now, while I’m sure there are many people who do just fine raising children at a younger age, and are able to provide financially etc, this is my opinion of it, because I see a lot of cases where young mothers with 2 or 3 children are raising them alone, because daddy left, and they’re on government help. Thankfully I had a lot of help from my parents in raising my daughter. A lot of young people don’t have that.

As you can see there are a lot of differences when you have a child after thirty.  You just have to weigh the pros and cons and decide what is best for your situation.  No matter when you have children, if you love and support them, nurture their spirits, and keep them safe, you will be rewarded ten fold.