"Formerly my art centered on spirituality, but now it’s about coatracks."
– Jim Dine
Did you see the cloud resembling a left tonsil over Highmount last Wednesday?
A Letter
Dear Sparrow The Scribe:
Have you ever been to a leaf-catching party? Usually I go to at least two each autumn. The idea is quite simple: you catch leaves as they fall from trees. But it’s not so easy. Somehow, the wind grabs each leaf and pulls it over your head, or drops it down by the trunk before you can race there. Catching four leaves an hour is the Grandmaster level.
So try it! There’s still a few maple leaves clinging to the branches. Gather some buddies and start leaf-catching!
J. O.
Bumper sticker:
I DISCUSS
DISCUS
A Second Letter
Dear Person Who Hears Birds:
For your pleasure, I offer a review of the new Levon Helm album in the form of a palindrome*:
Levon: O so novel!
"Andy"
*A palindrome is a word, phrase or car repair manual which reads the same backwards and forwards.
Carrot-Olive-Mustard Spears
Cut a carrot into 12 sharpened "spears." Impale an olive on each spear. Dip the carrot-olives in mustard. Serve.
[This recipe comes from Sidney Hoffmier.]
Bumper sticker:
I DON’T MIND STRAIGHT PEOPLE,
AS LONG AS THEY ACT GAY IN PUBLIC
A Third Letter
Dear Gossip Expert:
Politicians don’t write books. They write 320 page pamphlets.
O. T.
Shandaken Poetry Exaltation
IPods
IPods are
the new
guitars.
– Amy Threadwell
Tuesday Night
A moth perches
on my sweater
like a brown brooch.
– Esther Wolmat
Poem?
Is this a poem,
or just ten words
joined together?
– Jake Whootall
Spots
"My mother was very literal," Avery Canddler remembers. "She’d say: ‘A dog shouldn’t be named Spot if it has more than one spot.’ That’s why we had two dogs named Spots."
Bumper sticker:
FREE THE GUANTANAMO 367
Ancient Dan Says
"Phoenicia’s gettin’ too prosperous," observes Ancient Dan Eggers. "Last Tuesday, a brand-new quarter was lying on the sidewalk, right on Main Street! From where I was sitting, at The Sportsman’s, I could watch it carefully. Two and a half hours — no one picked it up! Why, in the 70s, three men would’ve come to blows over that coin before it hit the ground!"
A Fourth Letter
Dear Sparrow:
This morning the largest, laziest and worst-groomed raccoon I’ve ever seen came to my back porch, and stared through the glass door as if he’d left his knapsack inside!
A. D.
Bumper sticker:
LEGALIZE
NUDE SKIING
Salt Fire
"Try this sometime: build a campfire in a safe spot in the woods, then throw in handfuls of salt," Robert Mullen suggests. "The effect is sudden, bright, and bedazzling."
Stream Chair
"My Uncle Jack used to put a chair in the stream behind our house," remembers Tom Pax. "I remember him sitting on the chair, with his pants rolled up, reading The Kingston Freeman. Sometimes he’d play the harmonica. Uncle Jack said running water improved his circulation. He’d be out there in November!"
Left-wing Trees
"Some trees lean to the left," observes Patty Dreyer. "I call them ‘left-wing trees.’"
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