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How Far SHould You Push Your Children To Succeed?

Motivating children to succeed is a basic component of parenting, a most necessary task that is not at all easy or usually pleasant for either parent or child. The push exerted by parents for children to become successful is fueled by the maturity of life experiences a parent has accumulated, and the knowledge of what is required for a secure and stable lifestyle. As every individual has a unique personality and outlook, the things that motivate one child may not move another to succeed. It is the parents duty to inspire their children to succeed to the best of each child’s ability, and to realize that not all children are equally capable or driven to achieve great success in life.

There is a fine line however, that a parent must carefully straddle that lies between supplying motivational direction and becoming an overbearing nuisance. We have all witnessed at some point a parent that relentlessly harasses their child at every opportunity, finding fault in nearly every aspect of a child’s being. While the child may well be successful in school or activities, they are rarely happy and are often left with the impression that their best is never good enough. While in this example a child may be in actuality at the front of "the pack", they are motivated toward success not by desire, but by a fear of failure and bearing the disappointment of others. The result is a child that grows to adulthood with an inferiority complex due to having a parent that is little more than a bully.

Conversely, a wise parent realizes that not every child is destined to become President, and to gauge success on any number of levels comparative to a given child’s abilities. Since the definition of success is subject to personal views, achievement needs to be perceived as any positive endeavor that concludes in a personal triumph, no matter how small in scope. Good parenting allows a child to have steady access to motivation and direction, without being chastised for a singular failing circumstance. Perhaps the best tool for success any parent can give to a child is the ability to analyze and learn from failure, and to realize that a parents love and concern are unconditional.

Motivating a child to succeed should be a learning experience for both parent and child, and if done properly should create a closer bond as two individual hopes for a bright future become a single dream. Regardless of what a child becomes as an adult, as long as they are "happy in their own skin", balanced and able to provide for themselves, they are successful.

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