The Art of Successful Parenting
Author: Shalini Mitra
Publisher: Pustak Mahal (www.pustakmahal.com)
ISBN: 9788122306521
URL: http://www.pustakmahal.com/book/book/bid,,8919D/index.html
‘A well-behaved child is not the result of luck’, stresses Shalini Mitra, in her informative and practical book ‘The Art of Successful Parenting’.
As a parent of two children, I always fancied my own parenting skills. In fact, after reading the book I realized I had slipped often. Had I been given an opportunity of learning from such a book earlier, the path of upbringing up my children would definitely have been easier and more positively fruitful for all of us concerned.
Shalini Mitra, herself is the mother of two children, has the benefit of personal experience, and her qualifications, as a Master of Science in Communication from Clarion University, USA and a writer on topics related to child psychology, parenting and relationship.
Love is no doubt an essential part of parenting, but it has to be judiciously mixed with knowledge, patience, courage, consistency, and the virtue of learning from one’s mistakes.
The author advises parents to keep an open mind when they enter the portals of parenthood. Preconceived notions may prove obstacles to effective parenting.
What applied to them in their childhood, maybe out of place in the present day and age. For one, most families have gone nuclear. They do not have the support system provided by the large network of relatives found earlier.
Even those who did live in joint families had the benefit of the proximity of elders, cousins, uncles and aunts. Today, in many families, either both parents are working outside the home, or are involved in some activity, which draws away their exclusive attention from their children.
Even mothers who remain housewives, find that running a house all by themselves, doing shopping, maintaining the house, cooking, paying attention to social duties, acting as nurses in times of illness, etc. leaves them little time to devote to their children’s education.
When this is shared with aunts, uncles, grandparents, and cousins, life becomes much easier for the mothers. As a result, stress levels remain high. Parents, resort to venting their irritations, anger and frustration on children. Punishment, more than systematic discipline becomes the order of the day.
The author has dealt with the need for parents to be good role models for their offspring, helping children take their own decisions, developing healthy self esteem, inculcating a sense of responsibility, motivating them, solving home work hassles, maintaining a cooperative family atmosphere, planning for correction and improvement of behaviour, and being consistent.
Children, she warns, may not always be angels. They can be quite obnoxious at times. Patience and courage are attributes, which in her experience, rank high up on the virtues needed to be good parents. Children can be manipulative, scheming, vengeful and violent in speech and behaviour. They are imitating their elders and enacting scenes they have witnessed.
Parents need to ensure that they themselves do not teach children through their own habits, wrong undesired behaviour. Children learn from their environment. They observe their parents and later teachers.
Parents should not be spiteful. Even in misbehaviour, children often repeat what they have seen. Parents need to keep an open mind, correct and admit their own shortcomings, and cooperate with their children in developing and creating a progressive and positive environment at home.
The Art of Successful Parenting teaches us how to enjoy bringing up your children, and providing the offspring with a joyful, fruitful environment.