Awhile back, I had a friend who owned a singles agency. At the time I was actively looking to meet someone to date, so she let me put an ad in her newspaper and gave me pointers in writing it. She’d worked many years with single people and knew all the ins and outs of how to attract the opposite sex by using just words. Here are some of her tips told to me, that really do work.
Be sure to portray yourself accurately. Don’t put up an image of someone you’re not. And, don’t include a photo of yourself from fifteen years ago. Have someone take a recent photograph of you, and be proud of who you are at this point in time. Don’t lie about your age, height or other personal information. It pays to be as real as possible. People don’t like to feel "tricked". One man I’d met told me he was thirty and had a thick head of hair. When I met him, he was fifty, with a bad toupee. He was a total fake. Even if he had a good personality, it didn’t matter, he’d lied and I was not interested in knowing someone who lied up front like that. It pays to be honest. Don’t start a possible relationship out on a wrong note.
Being sexual in your description will bring you people looking to get lucky, but chances are, not long-term relationships. Don’t be provocative and sleazy in your description of yourself or in who you are looking for. Keep it clean. Be a class act and you are asking for respect, not drooling perverts. It’s a good idea to get to know a person before allowing intimacy into the mix.
Describe yourself as best you can, using visual and positive descriptions. Don’t be down on yourself, point out your assets. Don’t complain about things, and keep it light. Nobody wants to be around someone who is all gloom and doom. It’s like a job interview. You don’t tell prospective employers about your cellulite, or tough breaks in life. Be even tempered and pleasant.
Whatever you do, don’t discuss your broken heart from a previous relationship or what a jerk your ex is. Don’t mention anything but yourself, your interests and what kind of person you are looking to meet. Leave out the past, because it’s, well, the past. Stay in the now.
Use the bulk of your ad to visually describe yourself and your hobbies. These words are all that represent you, so make them count. We all want someone with integrity, honesty, kindness, etc. Leave those things out, they are "givens". What kind of music do you like? Are you into the latest music like Justin Timberlake or LL Cool J? Or, do you prefer the older music like the Rolling Stones? Do you have a dog or cat? Do you enjoy football, baseball, or other sports? Desribe it. What do you do on weekends for fun? Be as specific as possible.
Don’t be caught up on superficiality. We all want someone attractive to us. So to put "I want someone attractive" is a waste of writing. If looks are important, nowadays ads have photographs, so you can see who you are meeting. If the person responding doesn’t have an ad, ask him or her to send a photo through the singles’ site email. Try not to give out your personal email if at all possible until you know and are interested in someone. It’s a security thing.
Like when writing a term paper or essay, check over your work before posting your ad. If you need to re-write it to make it better, then do it. If you can include more than one photo of yourself, that will help the other person see what you look like more accurately, especially if one photo is a head shot and the other is a full body picture. Both your description of yourself and your photo will represent you so choose wisely. Nothing risque. Be classy. Be what you want to attract. If you want someone professional, show that you are a professional yourself. If you want to attract a horse lover, take a photo of yourself riding a horse, for example. Again, keep it real.
It takes time, weeding out and lots of effort, but it only takes one "winner" to make it all worthwhile in the end. These tips worked for me when I was dating and they can work for you too. Good luck in your search for that someone special. Be safe, don’t give up and enjoy that special person when you find him or her.