There is not one single individual, ever, in this world, who has not experienced conflict, in his or life. When conflict happens within a person, it is called intra-personal conflict. If it happens between persons, it is called inter-personal conflict.
Both types of conflicts happen in our everyday lives. If for example, we find that our colleagues get things done through applying a generous dose of "maska" on their bosses, there is a conflict within us, and we really hate to see this, if we are not used to it, or do not like it at all. The best way to come of this conflict, is to ignore it. You and I cannot change this world. So, just do our duty, and get away with it. Maybe,we may not get the full merit payment or the full yearly increment. It will always give us piece of mind that we have not as yet compromised on our basic values.
Conflicts happen between life partners so very often, that is it is almost impossible to igonore it. For example, the wife would like to resort to capital punishment to discipline the child, but the husband would hate it. He would watch the television, go a friend’s place, go to the theatre to watch a movie, or simple sleep, when the mother would be busy with her own style of making the child study. During my numerous counseling sessions, I have always found that the fathers in such situations hate the mothers doing it, more so, if the child happens to be a daughter. The reverse also happens — at times, the fathers also resort to this very same method, and the mothers simply watch helplessly. If the father is a very dominating person, the child develops a hatred for the father, with disastrous future consequences.
The best solution is to strike a balance. The same hand that beats the child should also hug the child, tell him or her that it always for one’s good that the beating sometimes happens and, if the correct behaviour happens, praise should be lavish. So lavish, that the child will start seeing the particular parent in a new perspective. If the child happens to share the agony with another child who also goes through a bad experience in terms of the beating, and there is only beating but not affectionate advise, the children form an automatic bond between themselves, that sometimes encourages them to do the most unethical things — more so, if they are in standards eight and above.
Ditto for relationships between in-laws. I have seen yound widowed sister-in-laws making life miserable for the young bride, more so, if the sister-in-law is totally dependent on the husband (her brother) for her survival. At times, it happens that the brother means so much to the sister-in-law, that she starts seeing the young woman as her enemy number one. The husbands have to play a delicate balancing act, and encourage transparency and openness. The relationhsip between the daughter-in-law and mother-in-law is so mundane, to be discussed here.
So, the best way to confront a conflict — whether it is an inter-personal one or a intra-personal one, is to just do what is best under a given set of circumstances, without ever giving in to tempatation of any kind, to do the unethical thing.
It is always best to practice some values like honesty, integrity, punctuatlity and reliability. If we say something, we should do it. If we promise someone something, we should do it, and not just talk about it. If we understand some basics, it is then possible to deal with conflict of any kind. I always have an argument with my friends that there are no alternatives.
Not so long ago, I had to travel from my place (around one hundred kilometers from Chennai) to Madurai, at a very short notice. I sourced the Net, and discovered that I would land nowhere if I were to try the trains. All of them were awfully full, and the waiting lists were indeed huge. My friend advised to "take care" of the TTE, and get on, for, life is just like that. I refused, and instead went all the way to Chennai, and took a State transport bus. There was a holiday coming inbetween, and I had to undergo a little trouble of sitting only in the last seat — this is what I got anyway, for the buses were also very full –and I compensated it by having a good nap once I reached Madurai, which is around 500 kilometers from Chennai.
Of course, corruption is so rampant, and it is almost impossible for you or me to be Mahatma Gandhis at all time. Still, let us try to be as honest as possible.
The whole world is already seeing the worst of times, simply because of man’s greed and egos of some individuals. It is painful to see so much suffering, so much inequality, so much of terrorism, and so much of insecurity — the talk of a IT slowdown is already, and what this will mean to the economy remains to be seen.
Everything that happens around us can be traced to some conflict or the other.
Steering clear of conflicts is a very big subject. What I have attempted to discuss here is only one small bit. I would welcome suggestions on other aspects as well.