This post is regarding a very fascinating and interesting conversation I had with my friend yesterday. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to paste it here, but perhaps elaborate on it a bit.
Have you ever wondered how many faces you have? Broadly classified, there are two – the professional and the personal. Some of us have a huge difference between these two while a very fine line separates it for the rest. But difference, there is. Going further into it though, there are many more. For example, let us take the professional face. Do you behave the same way with your colleagues as well as with your boss?
The personal front is much more interesting. I don’t know about you, but in my personal life there are only two types of people – family and friends. Sure, there are a few friends who are like family and there are a couple of family members who would easily transcend into the friends zone. But you see, it still leaves me with just two zones. One would assume that one’s behaviour with people in these zones is uniform. Ah, that is where one is wrong.
Let me start with family. Do you behave, act, talk or respond in the same manner when with your parents and when with your siblings? I don’t. There is the difference in age which acts as the factor, there is the difference in maturity(debatable), there is the difference in topics under discussion(or argument, as the case may be), there is the difference in opinion, there is the difference in tolerance(very important) and of course there is the difference in the respect accorded. Basically, there are lots of differences.
You still with me? OK, good. Now comes the part and realisation which takes people by surprise. The faces you wear when with your friends. I would not say that my behaviour or nature is totally different for each friend but I would say that it is not exactly the same for each one of them. It all depends on how and where the friendship started, what drove the two to come together, why are they(we?) still friends, what role each plays in it and so many more. For instance, I am a kid when with a couple of them, replete with talking nonsense, calling names, acting stupid etc. But with others, you wouldn’t be wrong if you were to call me “aunt KB”. The funny part is, both of these character traits define me equally well, there is no artificiality when I display one, there is no forced nature when I display the other.
It’s probably because that what is needed and sometimes, that is what is expected. You act the way you do because you know it will be accepted, you know you will not be judged for it. Sometimes though, you act the way you should. Those who need to be protected, will be fiercely so. This is not a usual occurrence, as most of the people I am(or like to be) with are strong; emotionally/mentally. But for the couple of sweethearts who aren’t, I take the role of the Dominator. On the other hand, people who know me well would vouch for it that I am not the kind of person who can be dominated. Surprise, I can be when I want to be. As I said before, a lot depends on the dynamics and requirement of the relation.
A lot is required for any relationship to work but a lot more is required to sustain it. It is easy to give up but much more difficult to give in. On one hand you cannot and should not diverge from your true nature but on the other you have to compromise. Life sure is complicated.
PS: Going through the draft, I do not know if it made any sense.