Many youngsters have just one obsession — fall in love with a boy or a girl, and then try his or her best to get approval from the other side, and once this happens continue this till it results in a marriage as well.
While this is understandable, given the kind of influence the mass media has on young people, I am really shocked to find many thousands of young people falling into this trap, with ruined careers, with miserable lives after marriage due to inadequate understanding on either side, or lack of support from parents and so on. Thus, even if such "love" as it is normally understood, ends in marriage, it all depends on how much either of the life partners really loved each other.
There is a saying in Tamil, which when literally translated, means that all lust or craving for physical intimacy after marriage, more so,love marriages,lasts just for thirty days. And then when reality strikes the man, and he has to adjust to new realities,he finds it very difficult, particularly if the girl is from a rich family that had not approved the marriage at all. Friends do help, but getting the type of friends who do everything for the hero and his lover — very much seen in hundreds of Tamil movies and possibly Hindi movies as well –are very difficult to find in this dog-eat-dog world, and this world is only for the really smart people.
Hence, before falling into the "love" trap, one should do very well in academics, get a good job and then concentrate on it as well. Irrespective of whether you are a boy or a girl, it all depends on how much and for what reasons the other person finds you interesting, so interesting, that he or she would deam it fine to have a life-long relationship. Even after this, unless there is thorough understanding and guts to face upto any opposition from parents on either side (this often happens only in rural areas),the partners should not rush into proposing a marriage.
Physical intimacy is best avoided at this stage. If the parents approve it is fine, but if they do not, the life partners would have to really understand what it takes to make a successful life. However, if each of the partners has completely understood the other, and has genuine feelings and emotions that go far far beyond mere physical attraction that each has for the other,then they should squarely face the reality and take the permission of parents. In some cases, where this is not possible, one should have guts to see the relationship through marriage that lasts a lifetime.
What about arranged marriages? In the South of India, though things are slowly changing, arranged marriages are so common, and the real love that each of the partners has for the other has to be seen to be believed. There is always a longing to get to know the other person, and even there are some weaknesses in either of the life partners — a very perfect thing in any human being — these are not considered and true love and affection takes over.
Of course, I do know several hundreds of cases –even inter-state love marriages that have succeeded so well. But all these are perfect ones, where either of the partners had excellent careers, and got to understand each other well. Even parents have fallen in line after a while, more so, when they get to see their grandchildren.
So, do not be obsessed with "love" as it is commonly understood. Understand, instead, its sacred nature, and understand that it means much more than physical intimacy. Only then, can one succeed in it.