Having children is supposed to be one of the most special moments in the life of a man, but few realize the impact of children on how a father’s existence will be altered forever. To some men, the prospect of children is a long anticipated event that has finally come to fruition. To others, the thought of being saddled with the responsibility of fatherhood is not an attractive proposition, one that is to be avoided at all cost. In either instance a man’s life is changed in perpetuity by the arrival of a child, and it does not matter what the father’s personal feelings are – the fact is that the man is responsible emotionally and financially for the well-being of another person that they are eternally bound to.
To a mature and responsible man, fatherhood changes their lives in that every decision and action they take is shadowed by what is best for their child and it’s future. A man’s individual wishes become secondary to what is necessary and appropriate for the child to prosper, not only in the present, but for the long range. This affects every single aspect of a father’s life, from what employment is taken, to the location of the family residence and every financial decision. The father’s life goes from thoughts addressing the "I" perspective to the "we", and a man learns quickly what endeavors in life are of a positive nature for his child and which need to be jettisoned. A truly responsible man that is a father is every bit as protective as a good mother, and is not ashamed to show love and affection publicly toward their children. Fatherhood in this sense changes a man because their is no more enjoyable way to spend their time than with their children – taking every opportunity to watch them grow.
Conversely, some men are not and will never be good father material. The reasoning may be immaturity, narcissism, or a hundred other root causes, but in the end they will fail miserably and in many cases do more harm in the child’s life than good. In instances of these type of men that become fathers, the events tend to bring out the worst characteristics in their personalities – they do not relish the prospect of fatherhood and are more than willing to let it be known. Emotional, financial and simple respect for the situation is severely lacking, and the individuals think much more of their own wishes and well being that those of their own flesh and blood. Their ability to turn their backs on a helpless child is easily one of the most reprehensible actions that a man could possibly make, and for some men the decision comes far too easily.
Fatherhood shows the inner workings of a man’s psyche and integrity without deception, and as in any other aspect of humanity, some win the game while others languish on the bench.