OUR PRETEENS ARE ON THE EDGE
They are not the ones usually mentioned in our society’s ongoing saga about children being our future. If you don’t have kids this age, or aren’t involved in the business of education, the idea that many pre-teens are on edge of being swept under the rug, may be foreign.
One might think I am exaggerating. Let me give you just a tiny look into the world of pre-teens. I am a tutor for an after-school program. And, yes, it is a Middle School.
Last Thursday, our staff came to work and saw groups of kids clustered in between campus buildings. The supervisor was stopped on entering the area. There had been a lunchtime dance. The teachers spent the whole hour breaking up groups of boys and girls. They weren’t dancing, but spending the time rubbing themselves on each other. Our pre-teens have developed their own generation’s version of foreplay. This little trick got their hormones going so strong that the rest of the day was spent calming them down.
Those were the kids in the school and not in the program I work in. The bigger picture is even worse.
I work with an eighth-grade girl who got two Fs and one D. She also got three ‘Us’ for unsatisfactory work habits. She is lazy and has no one to spend time working with her. Her mother speaks little English and has a hard time communicating with her teachers. Many assignments require either using the Internet for research or being able to type and print out a report. She has the computer, but no Net access or printer. I have explained to her several times how she can get these services at the library. She is afraid her mother wouldn’t understand how to fill out the form for the needed library card. So, here is another obstacle to her getting her assignments in. At this time, her teachers have an “I don’t care attitude’ with her since she hardly ever turns in anything.
Any promotion this year is very sketchy. The irony is that her father is a doctor.
Another sixth grade boy takes all of our attention some days. He wants the spotlight constantly and will go to any lengths to get it. He has been in trouble in school and stays in trouble with the program. His usual mode is to come in, slam his backpack down and announces to anyone listening, “I’m here.”
Getting him to concentrate on doing work happens once in a blue moon. He constantly defies staff and puts his hands on the girls whenever he thinks I am not looking. He is eleven. If he lasts through the school year without being suspended, it will be a miracle.
Some of the eighth grade boys think it is humorous to label things they don’t like,: books, movies, habits, clothing, etc., as gay. They also don’t hesitate to call one of their buddies gay when they don’t approve of his/her behavior. Attempts to caution the use of this word in a negative manner have gotten nowhere.
There are several activities in our program besides tutoring. A young woman, with a new degree in theater arts, was brought in to teach drama skills. One boy signed up and the rest consists of a group of rowdy girls. The girls think it is fair game to call the one Asian girl names. The Asian girl stays out of trouble and gets good grades. This makes her stand out, of course. The other girls additionally continue to plague the drama teacher by sitting on desks, jumping from desk to desk and scooting around the floor on a wheeled chair that belongs to the teacher, whose class they are borrowing. They have come to this program thinking that this acceptable behavior. They will be in for a rough time when they get to high school. Many will never have the privilege.
I was shocked early on in the program to discover the school has a counselor especially for kids considered ‘at risk.’ Now, I understand.
This situation is not all the kids’ fault. Parents seem to be on another planet. We offer this program for three hours after school ends. This is different, based on early dismissal days. Often, we have to call parents when the schedule changes. The parents who actually come to the classroom seem to be oblivious to any of their kids’ problems.
The statistics on the ratio of children working at grade level is awful, putting it mildly. If I quote it, it would be wrong, since these things change continually. Teachers, for the most part, focus on the kids they think have a chance of making it.
We all know that system wouldn’t change, so it is going to have to be individuals who stand up and try to make a difference. Otherwise, the juvenile facilities will be over-run with pre-teens. As it is, they have a very small chance of having a successful life. This is a nightmare with no foreseeable end.
-30-