If you ever want to get a taste of country life, go to work in a farm store. I did that glorious tour of duty for almost a year, until I got my senses back and found a real job.
People always consider city people ecentric; however, there is nothing that happens in a city that us country folk can’t beat. One day, the store was fairly busy; by that I mean every farmer in the area had decided to come in for his coffee break and take up my counter space. It was the middle of summer, and admittedly hot, so there was no big surprise when a woman came in wearing a little sun dress to buy a couple of quarts of oil for her car.
She was attractive garnered a few glances from the guys, but nothing spectacular, and I thought nothing more about her…until I realized all the voices around my register had suddenly stopped. The place was dead silent.
My register was located next to this big window, and when I looked up, every man was staring out that same window. Curious, I turned to see what could be so entertaining, and whoa! Did I get an eyeful. The woman who had just bought the oil was putting it her car, much to the delight of several old rednecks who had only had the hard handle of a pitchfork to play with all day.
When I saw what was going on, I immediately called back for a mop.
This woman had a very shapely hiney, and she was obviously very proud of it, because when she bent over to put the oil in her car, we all found out the only thing covering her rear was a butterfly tattoo. She was just a little thing, so she would stand on her tippy toes and bend over at the waist, giving everyone full knowledge of what she wasn’t wearing. (The car, by the way, was a Dautsun 280Z.) I can guarantee you her engine wasn’t the only thing getting lubricated.
When she was finally done, she turned to the window and blew the boys a kiss. She then got into her car and drove away.
I somehow had managed to keep a straight face through the whole episode, until this elderly woman popped off, "I can’t believe you all stood around a let that woman put oil in her car! One of you men should have ran out and helped her!"
It was all I could do to keep standing.
For the next week, I was everyone’s best friend, too. You see, I didn’t just know all of the men standing at the counter that day, but I also knew all of their wives.