Instead of wasting billions of dollars building a hadron collider to find the elusive Higgins boson, physicists needed only to travel to the Village of Dobbs Ferry to find irrefutable evidence of supersymmetry.
As predicted by political scientists, the controversy over the referendum to move the election from November to March has ended up in the courts. The non-partisan Dobbs Ferry Party (Republican) has chosen a Democrat to lead the charge, a certain Clay Lifflander of the west side of Cricket Lane. As predicted by supersymmetry, he is the exact opposite of Fred Broda, Republican, who was chosen by the previous non-partisan committee (Democrat) to move the referendum from March to November and, most importantly, he lives, as predicted by stochastic theory, on the east side of Cricket Lane.
Where supersymmetry gets hard to comprehend is that the Republican plaintiff, Broda, was leading a covert Democrat action to move the election for its partisan advantage, while the Democrat, Lifflander, is leading a Republican reaction to move the election back in the other direction for its partisan advantage. It is the inherent tension between these two opposing forces in Dobbs Ferry politics that keep things lively. It is these primordial forces struggling to get and hold power that keep the overall system in a constant state of equilibrium, i.e., nothing ever gets done as evidenced by the vacant lots littering the ‘Gateway’.
The beauty of supersymmetry goes even deeper as one strips away the layers of reality to reveal the inherent contradiction which is the quintessence of reality. The Democrat, Lifflander, is angry that the Democratic Commissioner of the Board of Elections, Lafayette, invalidated the election on a meaningless technicality to help the Democrats win the next election, (LaFayette is the Democratic County Chair). While Republican Broda was furious that a Republican judge (who was seeking a higher appoint from a nominating commission attended by the Republican Village Attorney of Dobbs Ferry) invalidated the earlier referendum on a meaningless technicality to help the Republican core of the Dobbs Ferry Party win the next election. But that is the beauty of supersymmetry: what goes around, comes around.
It should be pointed out that Lifflander or his father can be relied upon to write the perennial letter stating that they as Democrats support a Republican candidate for office, while Mr. Broda can be relied upon to write the mirror-image letter for the Democrats. It does beg the question as to why these two don’t just change parties. In fact, it appears that these gentlemen live on the wrong sides of Cricket Lane. It is traditional that the Republican president of the Ardsley Country Club live on the west side of Cricket Lane abutting the ninth fairway, while the environmentalist tree huggers live on the east side adjoining the Juhring estate nature preserve (that was created by Broda’s delightful mother, Betsy Broda, in the 1960’s with the help of Democrat Lady Bird Johnson).
Now, like Schumpeter’s famous cat in the box with the flask of cyanide, the courts will need to decide if the referendum is alive or dead. It will be forced to interpret some obscure provision in either the New York State Municipal Home Rule Law or New York State Village Law, which themselves are overlapping manifestations of the first law of the conversion of power – political power cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be reapportioned.
Leave Your Comments