I needed an easy book to read after “Cymbeline,” and also one that was physically light, for traveling. So I picked “The Canceled Czech,” from a shelf in my garage. One virtue of this novel is that it flawlessly flows out of its title. It’s actually about a Czech, and contains the exact type of juvenile humor in the titular pun. One of the main characters is Greta, a gorgeous blonde neo-Nazi nymphomaniac who loves sleeping with Jewish men—to give one example.
The protagonist, and narrator (with a terrible name—Evan Tanner) is one of the most unexpected secret agents in history: a Manhattan nerd who speaks a dozen languages & supports esoteric causes like the Flat Earth Society and the Jacobite League (who are attempting to install Prince Rupert of Bavaria on the English throne). Is Evan Jewish? We’ll never know. But it’s hard to believe he isn’t.
Oh yes, I forgot to say. He has a rare condition called kimfonia which means he doesn’t sleep – ever. Instead, he does yoga relaxation exercises. This gives him more time than the average person, but mostly he wastes it reading. Tanner is not courageous so much as occasionally half-crazy. For example, he has to smuggle a neo-Nazi without ID across the Hungarian border, so he crashes his car into a nearby telephone pole. The security guards ask no questions as they carry the two injured victims across. (The neo-Nazi was having a catalectic seizure, and therefore appeared dead. As you can see, the plot pivots on soap opera-style rare medical maladies.)
“The Canceled Czech” is so terribly written, it’s hard to even think of it as written. It feels more like it was spoken into a telephone. Here is a randomly-selected passage (on page 144):
“By the time we left the house it was about an hour or so before dawn. The Prague streets scared me. I could see and hear plenty of activity over by the castle – official cars, bright lights. I took his arm and we headed in the opposite direction. I was beginning to wish I had parked our little stolen car where I could get my hands on it.”
I can picture Block sitting in his Upper East Side apartment chuckling over his latest plot twist. Though the book has zero suspense, or literary style, it does exude pleasure. “The Canceled Czech” is Block’s revenge against his childhood. I hope his parents are both proud and humiliated.
