Justinian often reminds me of George W. Bush, who always evoked the question: “Is he malevolent or spectacularly incompetent? Is malevolence a type of incompetence? Is incompetence a species of malevolence?” As every empire is crumbling, a feckless tyrant arrives to push the carcass of government over the cliff, then wander off with a self-satisfied smile.
The one difference between Justinian and George W. is the former’s uxoriousness. (I’ve been waiting years to use this word.) He was entirely manipulated by his power-mad wife Theodora, if Procopius is believable. Already Christianity had inspired an obsession with perverse sexuality, and “The Secret History” excels in that department. Procopius’ description of Theodora’s ascension from all-purpose slut to Empress is inadvertently majestic:
“One night she went into the house of a distinguished citizen during the drinking, and, it is said, before the eyes of all the guests she stood up on the end of the couch near their feet, pulled up her dress in the most disgusting manner as she stood there, and brazenly displayed her lasciviousness. And though she brought three openings into service, she often found fault with Nature, grumbling because Nature had not made the openings in her nipples wider than is normal, so that she could devise another variety of intercourse in that region.”
With its unfamiliar, slightly arbitrary Imperial jargon, one is reminded of science fiction. This passage might refer to the planet Klargon:
“The soldiers on guard at the Palace used to place themselves alongside the arbitrators in the Royal Portico and by brute force secure the verdicts they wanted. At that time all with few exceptions had left their posts and were walking just as they pleased down ways hitherto barred to them and not to be trodden; things were all rushing along in utter disorder and had ceased to be called by their proper names, and the commonwealth was like children playing ‘King of the Castle.'”
Hatred is repetitive. The Secret History doesn’t rise to a climax; it merely lists the evils of this royal couple until it’s exhausted.