Commentary: I’ve often thought the reason there are so many divorces in our society is because people do not take the time to get to distinguish the person they’re marrying. A person cannot perceive isssues about someone in a couple of months or sometimes in a year(s). People have this great talent for keeping the "real" person hidden and they sometimes don’t ever display their "true" self until it is too late.
Haven’t you ever heard a person who is going through a divorce say, "I didn’t know he/she had a mean streak, a gambling problem, a roving eye, lazy, bad debts, disrespect, and various other bad habits in their life?
People always demonstrate their virtuous side in everything they do and rarely do they exhibit their bad habits before relationships/marriages. A person has to live with a man/woman to really get inside of their brains and to see the "real" person hiding inside.
Once they’re in a relationship/marriage for a few months the "true" person will begin to build to a monster that has been waiting behind the curtains.
It’s my opinion a lot of people choose a person based on their good-looks, but allow me to tell you, this doesn’t display their lack of a good personality, mannerisms, intelligence, stubborn streak, patience, and various other emotional problems existing behind closed doors.
People, who portray these type faults, should be shied away from because if they take a leap and marry them, they’ll end up miserable and will be seeking a divorce in a short period of time.
It’s my opinion that people who does not portray a single good trait is in "bad" need of some sound counseling…because they didn’t just get this way overnight. There problems have been festering for years.
When a person is planning on marrying an individual, they should choose someone who is a communicator, someone who loves and respects them, a listener, a person interested in their welfare, a problem solver, someone who loves them for who they are, and a person interested in all things that concerns them.
It’s my opinion when choosing a person for a relationship/marriage it’s important to select a person who expresses feelings of kindness and affection, doesn’t clamp up and get mad at the drop of a hat, doesn’t confide their feelings, someone who will discuss business matters and not take actions without their mate, and there’s a lot of other petty problems too.
In my opinion it’s important when choosing a mate to know them during intimate moments as well and be able to relate to them about likes and dislikes. When a man/woman begins to only think of their own satisfactions and not their mates, the person should never marry this type of a person because they’ll leave them out and they’ll find themselves waiting at the gate post every time.
People should marry a person they’re compatible with sexually and who enjoys the intimate times they spend together. It’s a great experience to be able to whisper to a mate one on one their intimate secret, desires, and to be able to be comfortable and free with each other. When this isn’t a part of a person’s relationship/marriage, they’ll begin to seek satisfactions somewhere else.
It is my opinion that people who are in relationships/marriages to be loved and cared for and they’re not in the relationship to be abused, mistreated, controlled, verbally abused, lied to, cheated-on, and used as a whipping post. When a person finds themselves in an abusive relationship, get out before the ink dries on the marriage license.
Sole Writer is Barbara Kasey Smith based on years of experience and factual happenings.
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