Lots of them were tough. There were two in particular that would come up repeatedly and that always proved difficult. One of them I will address today, and the second I will address in a subsequent blog.
The first toughest question would come up usually in the initial consultation.
The initial consultation was always intense. It was where I would gather all the basics, from marital history to conduct to financial issues to practically everything. This conference would usually last anywhere from one and a half to two hours. It would drain me, and it would damn sure drain the client. It was always strictly confidential, and I had to have the pure, unvarnished truth to know what to expect later.
Now and then, I would get a question that would be quite emotional. People of different ages might ask, as well as either gender. But after sitting there and covering so very much about their married lives, they wanted some perspective.
“From what you have heard, should I go ahead and get a divorce?”
There would be different variations on it, but it would come down to that. The client was conflicted about whether to proceed with actually getting the divorce. They were just torn.
My response consisted of several things.
One, I had to say that that was a decision that only they themselves could actually make. It was something they had to weigh and decide. Neither I nor anyone else could really make it for them.
Two, I would always ask whether they had tried counseling. Especially with longer marriages, the effort was important to try to work on and repair the marriage.
Three, I would ask whether there was someone they turned to as a confidant, such as a minister or family member, that could talk to them about it.
Sometimes, I would acknowledge that, by the time someone had taken the initiative to contact and meet with me, this showed a lot, but I would try to direct them to more of a counseling setting than a legal one for that question.
With weddings, people typically stand before God, family, and friends, and commit to very solemn vows. The decision to divorce is always serious. So should the consideration be about whether to take that step.
Nick Nichols is a divorce attorney with nearly 3 decades of experience. His debut novel, Broken Promises, is an intense and emotionally charged thriller about an ambitious young lawyer with a case that will catapult his career or ruin his life.