Is it better to walk away from a disastrous marriage or to stay and suffer the consequences? A marriage can start off in the wrong direction shortly after marriage and leave a helpless person struggling to realize what has happened to them. People can be defrauded into believing they’re marrying the right person to find out in only a few short weeks they’ve married someone they didn’t know a thing about.
People can believe they know everything about a person but no-one ever knows the real person lurking inside. People wear all sorts of faces and can be a saint when they require and a devil in a “red suit” the next day. They can have all sorts of faults such as an expert liar, dishonest, conniving and girlfriends in every town. A man or woman does not change their ways after marriage; in fact, their faults explode and an innocent person is left shaking their heads and suffering due to the person’s failures.
Women and men can be “blind” when they fall in love and they can see “no” wrong in anything their love does. It’s as though a blinder is automatically attached to their eyes.
No person wants to admit that the person they’re in love with has faults…every one of us live in hopes the choice made is perfect.
In many cases these failures begin to come to life immediately after marriage and the “new” person comes alive to scare the wits out of their spouse. It’s important to be aware that once you marry a person, you become a victim of all their “wrongs.” This is the time to “walk” away and never look back.”
I happened to be one of those people who couldn’t see any further than my nose and early in life I suffered severe hurt, pain and left with a child to raise alone and with a wonderings of where in the world her father was and what happened to cause him to run away and leave her. It’s a scare that remains with that child for life and a heartache a Mother carries throughout life too. I walked away without ever having a regret to this day, I did the right thing for my child and for myself.
I saw “no” wrong in him because I was innocent, young, vulnerable and uneducated about people in general. There were signals but I wasn’t familiar with the sly means of fooling me since I had not dated that much before marriage to him. I was a protected person and not exposed to the outside world prior to marriage.
People will try to defend their actions and yes, many a person is too innocent and vulnerable to realize the man/woman they’re intending to marry has serious issues. Once a person marries someone, it’s not as easy to get out of it and the scars left never really vanish. Loving a person is “hard” to give up and the pain is tremendous and the loneliness is heart-wrenching but it’s much better to release a love than to suffer a lifetime of “hell.”
In my opinion a man/woman choosing a partner should check into every aspect of that person’s life by asking questions, meeting family members, friends, business dealings, police record, the crowd they have run with and continue to do so, drinking and drug issues and the manner in which they handle themselves in “all” situations. Don’t trust a “sheep in wolves” clothing because if you do, you’re going to be hurt and so is your family. It’s wise to “know” the man before ever accepting a proposal from him.
If you’re a “wise” person you’ll be able to pick-up on many qualities of the person without doing too many investigations. It’s much easier to walk away with a broken heart than to stay and suffer and if there are children involved, prevent them from suffering all their lives.
I’m not taking up for myself but had I been familiar with close personal relationships prior to my failed marriage, I know I would have chosen differently. My parents smothered me with security and kept me on a hard knitted rein throughout my childhood and this caused me to be an innocent, vulnerable and uneducated person. The blame is not on them because they were excellent parents who “cared” about their children and what they were being exposed to.”
Women/men get to know the person you’re planning to marry haste makes waste in almost everything. Get to know all that’s possible about the man/woman before you accept a ring and a pledge to marry someone. Life is short and a bad marriage can actually ruin an innocent life.
Barbara Kasey Smith is the writer of this article.