Being a parent doesn’t stop when the kids are grown and out on their own. Even if your grown children are now adults, they will always be your babies. Let them know that you care, whether they like it or not. It’s good for them. By finding time for family, whether near or far, you will always be together in spirit if not in person.
If you live far from one another, stay in touch regularly
Maintain contact with out of town children by phone, internet or visiting. Make the time to see eachother. With busy schedules and work, it can be hard sometimes. If so, then pre-plan a time when you can spend time with them, like during the holidays or a family birthday.
If your son or daughter is having trouble with something, be there for them, no matter what
A friend of mine left her husband and became homeless with two kids. Her parents were gracious and let her move in with them until she found a new apartment for her and her children. In times of crisis, be especially supportive and caring towards family members in need. These days, many families are hurting financially. Family is our refuge in times of stress and discomfort.
Don’t put the TV or chores over quality time together
Someone I know has a parent who is too selfish to care about his well-being. When He calls her to say hi (long distance and on his bill), she talks with him, but watches TV while they talk and doesn’t really listen to what he has to say. It breaks his heart and he feels as if she doesn’t really care about him. The truth is, she doesn’t. In her world, what’s on the tube is more important than her family. Most people know not to do this, but for those who don’t, stop and give your full attention to your children when talking to one another. It shows respect and caring.
Don’t be overly critical or judgmental
Everyone makes mistakes. Young people starting out in the world don’t have the knowledge base that older people do, and may make mistakes with money, love and other issues. If they come to you, try not to judge them harshly. Listen to the problem, and show kindness. Even if they did something that was really pin-headed and you feel like telling them off. Stop yourself. Remember, we’re all only human. If they bring home a mate you don’t like, remember that who they choose is their choice and not yours. Don’t talk down about that person. The way relationships tend to come and go in youth, chances are it’ll be temporary anyway.
I know it’s hard sometimes, but treat your grown offspring like adults
Even if they will always be your little kids deep down, your kids are now adults and want to be treated as such, but with parental approval. Respect their lives and decisions, let them make mistakes and learn from them, and don’t shelter them from anything. Without mistakes, we don’t grow. They are inevitable. Consequences hurt a lot more when a grown child is pampered and sheltered too much, then has to learn them the hard way later on. Just ask Paris Hilton.
Though your kids are now grown, you are all still a family, even if you’re spread all over the country. Life is so short, so let them know that you care, with cards, gifts and calls. They appreciate it, even if they don’t actually say this. Whether grown or not, all kids want to please their parents. So, please them back. After all, family is what life is all about so value it above everything else. Chances are, your kids will too, when they see this good example being set for them.