Where did we go wrong as adults?

As adults, do we mix up firmness with inflexibility or feel that by being firm we are being uncaring and undemocratic?

The shootout at a school in Gurgaon, where two boys killed another student, an alleged bully, was the kind of violence that has all the makings of a tragedy waiting to happen.

Unfortunately children are not spared its many consequences — good, bad and indifferent. We are not quite clear about what we expect from children; yet we do not hesitate to set impossible goals and standards. As parents and gatekeepers, we are at best extremely confused. We swing from one extreme of frowning upon all deviations and exceptions to another of being so indulgent that we actually teach a 14-year-old how to handle a revolver.

Consider the other circumstances. The school is an elite one in one of the fastest growing satellite towns. Consider also the scramble to get into it and the kind of parents who can afford to send their wards to such schools. Admission procedures for many such high-profile schools have come in for much attention and scrutiny with even the courts stepping in to arbitrate.

Is there too much parental pressure to get into such schools? Are the students being pushed too much to perform better? Are there no outlets for their energies? Is it pent-up rage and frustration that manifests in such violence? Or is it the influence of the visual media and newspapers that are full of violence leading these young minds to emulate them. Or is it a way of getting attention, since the people who make news and whose pictures get printed are those prone to violence? In short, is this a reflection of the gradual de-humanisation of civil society as a whole?

Diverse causes

There are diverse factors that cause such things to happen — sociological, psychological and societal tectonic shifts and adjustments. But let us examine the boomtown phenomenon first.

The gradual expansion of cities along the fringes has spawned a new phenomenon that has to be taken note of and that needs to be re-examined. It is the acquisition of land, often farmland, and the pauperisation of those who have been living on that land for generations.

After getting their compensation, they have been disposed off in every sense of the word — their land as well as their livelihood. They have to come to terms with their loss of land and adjust to the new status of the dispossessed. If the compensation is sufficient or above prevailing prices, it creates another problem. This new bounty can cause other undesirable effects.