A good listener is not only
Popular everywhere,
But after a while he gets to
Know something.
——-Wilson Mizner (1876-1933)
The methods for improving listening suggested by many people may lead to a question: “Why should you listen well?” There are indeed several advantages that you gain from effective listening.
In the first place, it helps to enhance your information and knowledge base. Your focused listening will prompt the speaker to continue speaking and come out with the best in his possession. You enrich yourself through social interaction. Good listening will help build and improve relationships in the social as well as professional spheres. If you want to rise professionally, good personal relations are important. You would have heard the question,
“A wise old owl sat on an oak;
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard;
Why aren’t you like that that wise old bird?”
Listening is a means to encourage others. If you listen to others well, they are likely to listen to you in turn, thereby strengthening communication and also relationships. When you appreciate their feelings, they get an opportunity to get feelings of animosity off their minds; the friendship thereby gets deeper.
By listening to them, you come to know why they think the way they think. You appreciate their priorities, their anxieties and fears that may be real or imaginary. People who listen are trusted more than those who adopt an indifferent attitude during conversation. Careful listeners get the benefit of credibility. Your good listening leads to the indirect benefit of making others also good listeners.
Listening is a good supportive activity that people appreciate. Those in the grip of tragedies in life can unburden themselves if they share their sorrows with empathic listeners. You can also help such unfortunate people by listening to them. Emphatic listening integrates childlike curiosity, grace and compassion.
Listening helps you to get feedback on your acts of commission and omission. You should welcome healthy feedback and make amends for your shortcomings, if you are aiming at success in life. Good listening can signify your respect to others. It will help in building and maintaining relationships.
Effective problem-solving very often entails good listening that helps us appreciate the different aspects of the problem better. It may be seen that problems involving interpersonal relationships are more easily resolved when the people concerned come forward to listen sympathetically and identify mutually agreeable common ground.
Very often the complaint is that the other person refuses to listen to one’s point of view. Careful listening will remove this apprehension. If you could not grasp a point , do not pretend that you have understood it. Better say, “I am sorry, I didn’t get it .” A patient listener will encourage any person to explain his stand better, explore his problem deeper, leading to a better appreciation of his own problem.
There are certain checks that help to confirm that you are a good listener.
1. If you always try to sit in an assembly at a place from where you can hear a speaker well,
2. If you ignore the dress, appearance or mannerisms of the speaker and focus on the content of the words spoken,
3. If you sincerely follow the logic and train of thought of the speaker,
4. If you care for the emotions of the speaker,
5. If you deliberately concentrate on the matter that is being discussed,
6. If you cast away your prejudices and make an honest effort to enter the speaker’s world of thought – it’s likely that you are a good listener.
Put your hand on your chest and see how well you do all these. That can be the beginning of good listening. You should try to correct any shortcoming that you identify.
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