Is revenge best option in a sour relationship?
By Emmanuel Udom
We all know that life is tough, with daily challenges confronting us. The entire universe, I must say is structured on overcoming challenges or what some persons prefer to call problems, in order to grow in knowledge, wisdom and understanding.
So, regardless of our status in life, we must network, interact and deal with people across the globe. Whether we are business persons, students, lecturers, writers, traders, government officials or politicians, we cannot escape these interacting aspects of life, since no man or woman is an island.
The truth is that we cannot know the other person without dealing with him or her. It is in the course of this that business; social, economic, cultural or any other relationships develop.
In my article today, I am going to zero in on relationship between a man and a woman. Research shows that marriages are breaking down at an alarming rate and in most cases, the children are at the receiving end of the marriage gone sour.
These research sourced from the internet also reveal that the ladies in most cases feel deeply hurt each time they are jilted by their lovers.
So, is revenge then the option to hit back or pay your ex in his coin? On the face value, this may seem the best option. But, on the long run, I think it is not.
Yes, you may want to frustrate your man for using and dumping you. You could even pour him acid, send assassins after him, and blackmail him before his friends, co workers, pastors, or family members. It is simply a temporary victory to a very serious matter. You may feel fulfilled, for hitting back at him, but deep down, you may not be comfortable.
This is not applicable to ladies alone as some men are addicted womanizers, who are not responsible enough to stick with one woman. In Africa with our culture, it is okay for a man to sleep with all sorts of women. But, I know that in most developed cultures, the randy man could be sued for not being faithful to his girlfriend or wife.
Take a pause and reflect on this. Revenge is not the best way of settling scores with your lover. It brings about temporary sweetness on the part of the initiator of the revenge and permanent scars emotionally, mentally and physically afterwards.
We offend people everyday and vice versa. For the sake of peace, health and your overall well being, I suggest you try to forgive, though it is pretty difficult to forget. Time has a way of healing our wounds, if we are prepared to learn the great lessons that bought about the conflicts and challenges in the first place.
So, for jilted lovers, I say reflect on the lessons you have just learnt in that relationship, knowing fully well that no man or woman is perfect, absorb the positive and pleasing parts of the lessons and strive to forgive and forget the bad sides. You never can tell if you are simply paying back a karmic debt.
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